Sorry, but you’re going to have to share this blog now.

I recently lost a really dear friend of mine. It has hit me in such a hard way, and I am finding myself needing another outlet for grieving. This is an appropriate outlet.

Jason, I am just so fucking mad at you. Just so angry. Because I am unable to handle being this fucking sad. I just can’t deal. I never even met you in person. But you have taken up what seems like a permanent residence deep inside of my brain. It’s so goddamned annoying. I adore my therapist, but there are questions I simply can’t ask her, but I could ask you.

I just miss you so fucking much. When I post on your wall I always cry, so this gives me a way to talk to you without crying. I don’t want to cry so much anymore.

I already told you about the bakery that only sells bundt cakes. The name is just as good as the place itself. “Nothing Bundt Cake!” Tell me that’s not a cute name. And Jason. The cake? The cake is OBVIOUSLY not as good as one you made, but holy hell. They are SO damned good. It’s already written into my schedule tomorrow that I will go and get one.

Target was an odd place to run into multiple bundt pans, but there they were.

You’re just everywhere. It’s so hard right now but at the same time it’s just so great. Some day all of these memories will still make me a little sad, but they will mostly make me smile. I’m just having such a hard time getting to that part.

I miss you. I love you.